I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
