You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize