i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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