it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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