Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
