Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
