Me too!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
