I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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