Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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