What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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