they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't think brook has ever known best
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
