My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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