He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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