Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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