wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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