kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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