Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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