that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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