dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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