I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
