There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
