I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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