someone get that fucking seahorse.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
