he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
