Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
