i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
