Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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