Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
