i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
