i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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