did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
