I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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