sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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