Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
