I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
