and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
