the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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