Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
