Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
