all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
