I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize