College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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