Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
