There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
