i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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