Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
