We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
