you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
