She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
