oh god the rape fog is back!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
