Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
