Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
