The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize