Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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