at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
