...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
