Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
two words...techno handjob
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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