sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
