There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
