With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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