Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
