I want to have your abortion
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
